Keeping It "Mutual".

Yeah, "mutual", in quotation marks...
The reason why I put the word in quotation marks is because a lot of people say they will keep it mutual, but they never really do so.  This usually happens when you’re a couple and have had a relationship together, and you both have the same exact friends. However, down the line…you guys might break up. Now, what happens? Are all those friends still going to legitimately be cool with you?


 



“Damn. She’s going? Ugh. I don’t think I’m going to go.”
“If he goes, I’m not going. Don’t count me in on that one…”

Awkwardness:  It’s not just uncomfortable for you both; it definitely is for your friends, too.  Trying to proceed and keep it mutual between friends can be inflexible, and makes people put in the middle, and they also feel like their choosing sides. Especially if you have one person that always wants people to take their side, and puts all their business out there. But, if you genuinely keep it mutual between a couple that are going through a break up, then you’re being a true friend to that other person.

My EXperience: From my own experience, I’ve recently dealt with a break up and it was (and still can be) a little overwhelming. Having mutual friends is the hardest part of the whole break up, mainly if all the friends were mostly the ex significant others. When I put “mutual” is because in my case I realized that most of those “friends” weren’t really mine, in reality they were his. It also made it difficult, because I slowly but surely realized how other people would act towards me…

If you are a true friend…you wouldn’t pick sides. You would keep it mutual with both people, because… 1. It’s not your problem. Stay out of peoples business (and it shouldn’t matter who you were friends with first.). 2. be mature about the situation. Taking sides is like being in high school. /

Idea for This Blog Post:  My own life experience gave me a little inspiration for me to come up with this blog post. And the other reason was the show F.R.I.E.N.D.S, because even when Ross and Rachel broke up, the rest of group of friends tried their best to keep it mutual. Even though, it’s not real, and they’re not actual people…It is a perfect example on how it should be in real life.


"I always try to keep it mutual. Don't ever try to make me chose sides. We ain't in Elementary school, fool." - Me (yooitzkc)

Frenemies

Backstabbing: I'm pretty sure everyone has gone through this in their life. It goes way back from elementary school, just because you didn't let your friend skip in the lunch line, "Oh, if you don't let me skip you, you're not my friend anymore." Or, if you got the box of crayons first, your friend will not want to talk to you. But, then moments later...you guys will be BFFL. Then, when it comes to middle school and high school everything gets a little bit more harder. So...what makes people back stab?  It becomes more of trying to fit in the "cool crowd", and that always ended up getting people in hot water. People will start by making up a rumor about someone else to try and look cool. The bad news is, people did this to try a be in this "awesome" crowd, and will end up leaving their REAL friends for the FAKE friends. However, once you realized your mistake, it always felt unpleasant.

Anyway, all this school drama did help..because we learned about life and how not to be in those positions ever again... Or did we?

Real Life: After graduating, you end knowing which friends will be there for you and which ones will NOT. People go their separate ways, and that's completely normal, because then again it is called REAL LIFE. They go on to college, fall in love, and start a family of their own; and that's a beautiful thing. Anyway, you will always have those couple of friends (probably less than a handful) that will always be there for you, and always be out for the rescue when your drowning in your own tears...

Real Friends vs Fake Friends: When you're going through tough times, is when you really know who will be there for you and who will not. Recently, I realized the people I hardly hung out with were my real friends, and the ones I always hung out and spend all my time with were fake. It's just a horrible feeling when you find out and see people's true colors. As for me, I found out through a break-up. Anyway, I'm just glad, that I know who is really there for me (besides my family of course). Even though, i'm more of a loner type, and like to keep to myself. It always feels AMAZING to get together with your friends and just hang out and have a good talk.

Frenemies: These are the friends you have to be very careful about. They are very discreet, and act like your friends, but deep inside...they envy you. It somewhat seems psychotic to me...because how can someone really act this way? Now, how do you tell who's a real friend and who is a fake friend aka Frenemy? Only time will tell...it's like an instinct. "Real recognize real". That's how I think of it...


Fun Times: I recently hung out with two of my closest friends that I've known from high school, and it felt great to hang out with them again. We did an ALL ladies night which means: Girls Drink For Free! It felt great to catch up with my girls again. Which girl can go wrong with that right? haha... 

<3 xo Kas